Yesterday my patient said to me, “I got fucked by the snake tip. It was waving a flag.” He then shifted his head toward me, looked directly into my eyes, and while grinning said, “Yeah that’s right, you know what I mean. We got fucked by the snake tip. You know what I’m talking about, [...]
Entries Tagged as ‘Medicine’
September 7, 2009
three little old ladies
The first little old lady I came across today was my lovely 96 year old patient. Long story short, she doesn’t function well. She is disoriented and demented and bedridden. And every day for the past week the worst part of my day is explaining to her husband of 70+ years that she is not [...]
August 30, 2009
quick recap
One month and a hundred or so kids, ear infections, and viral exanthems have gone by since my last post. Not really sure when or how that happened.
Quick recap on my first clerkship: peds is over, and surprisingly I enjoyed it.
I do not see myself as a pediatrician. The part of the clerkship that [...]
July 28, 2009
blunder
Today in the sports medicine clinic we had a dancer-patient. As the resident was presenting the case to the attending, the attending interrupted, “YES, but I’d really like to know, what KIND of dance does she do?” The resident had a brain fart and looked at me for some help.
Finally! A question I can [...]
June 12, 2009
i’m impressed
Speaking of granulomas, this girl’s med school essay has already been written for her: Teen Diagnoses Her Own Disease in Science Class (CNN).
“It’s weird I had to solve my own medical problem,” Terry told CNN affiliate KOMO in Seattle, Washington. “There were just no answers anywhere. … I was always sick.”
Yes, it’s weird you had [...]
May 27, 2009
the boards
About an hour ago I was on the verge of ripping my g.d. kidney out of my body and throwing it out of the window. Luckily there are no windows in my study-dungeon, so my mind had a moment to wander:
Hmmm, what arteries am I going to have to sever in the process? Renal artery and [...]
April 3, 2009
mr. blue
An 80 year old Caucasian man presented to the office yesterday for a bi-annual check-up. His past medical history consists of hypertension, dyslipidemia, and a recent onset of nocturnal dyspnea.
His mood was pleasant, he was well groomed, and but for his brown loafers and belt, was dressed from head to toe in [...]
April 1, 2009
the psych ward
Today I’m interviewing psych patients in one of the worst inner cities in New Jersey.
When I arrived I walked to the front desk just beyond the front door, hoping to get some directions. White coat on and clip-board in hand I politely asked, “Can you tell me how to get to the elevator?” The large [...]
