four kidneys

I am driving around New Jersey right now with four kidneys in my trunk.” I emailed my sisters because sometimes you have to spread the ridiculousness.  I sent the email when I was driving around NJ looking for an apartment to move into.  I drove by a cop car and realized I was praying to something-or-other that he wouldn’t pull me over.  Cause I mean really, four kidneys?  How do you explain that to a cop?

kidney4I picked up the kidneys in the morgue in the basement of the medical school.  I was leading a workshop on diabetes at a local shelter.  Because kidney disease is so hard to explain I thought some props would spice things up.  And come on, if Dr. Oz can do it, I can do it. In order to borrow organs from the school you first must talk to the right people, and second must visit our lovely mortician, Bob.

A side note on Bob, last year during anatomy he would occasionally pop into the lab while we were dissecting.  He would arrive when body parts started to mold.  He would arrive with some sort of saw and amputate the infected dead limb before the mold could spread to other bodies.  Sometimes though I think he was there just to creep us out.  One day we were dissecting some part of the abdominal cavity and we stopped working to wait for a professor to come over to answer some questions.  Well, lucky for us Bob came by instead.  Before we could do anything about it he was elbow deep in our lady’s abdomen.  He was elbow deep and gloveless in our lady’s adbomen and the sleeves of his sweatshirt were soaking up some serious body juice.  Pretty sure I threw up in my mouth.

So anyway, I had to make a trip to the morgue to pick out the kidneys I wanted.  Since I had never been there before, and since there really wasn’t an option, I nodded when Bob asked if I wanted a tour.  Walking between dead bodies Bob did not forget to point out his cat.  His dissected, skinned cat.  The only sense I could make of this was that his cat died recently.  I asked no further questions as the logic behind his thought process I will never understand.  He brought his dead pet cat to the morgue, skinned it, and then opened it up.  Get me the kidneys and get me the hell out of here.

The entire day was a bit of a bust.  Sick and congested I spent the entire morning looking at apartments in the rain.  I showed up at the shelter prepared to give the workshop on diabetes but they didn’t have me on their calendar.  And because things always happen in three’s, on my way home I was pulled over.  Unbeknownst to me my registration was expired, my car was towed on the spot, and I was stranded in the middle of nowhere, in the freezing cold, with no jacket.  Thankfully the four kidneys made it out of my trunk and back to the morgue, a whole 13 minutes before this final escapade.


Filed under medical school, medical student

7 responses to “four kidneys

  1. Dead is dead, as they say on Lost.

    Speaking of Lost (nice segue, no?), I’m starting to think that Locke is actually dead and the version of Locke we’re seeing now is the smoke monster. I have three reasons I suspect this:

    1. We know from seeing Alex that the smoke monster can take human form, and that it does not want Ben to try to kill Locke again.

    2. There was also the head fake when Ben was waiting for the smoke monster and then Locke came out of the woods (wink, wink). Then there was the repeated mantra that “dead is dead” (also the name of the episode).

    3. Ben’s penance before the smoke monster consists of a lot of apologies — to Desmond via Sun and then Alex. Earlier in the episode, when Locke and Ben are talking about how Ben killed Locke, Locke says something like “All I’m looking for is an apology.”

    So there it is. I suspect we’re going to find Locke’s dead body — still in the casket — later this season.

  2. Mrs Pax

    Maybe that’s what’s inside that weird metal box that the new crash survivors are protecting?

  3. Mike

    When they tow your car do they just leave you on the side of the street? How did you get your car back? Did you have to register it first? Did someone have to come pick you up?

    Were the kidneys in preservative?

    Why is Pax Arcana talking about Lost?


    • drfrenchfry


      What’s with all the questions.

      Yes, the cop left me on the side of the street. He first asked if I had a cell phone and anyone who could pick me up. I called the compound and luckily there were people there who were nice enough to drop everything and pick me up. I registered yesterday. I picked up the car today with the help of the same nice people who picked me up on Tuesday.

      The kidneys were in a bucket under a wet towel.

      Pax is talking about Lost because it’s the best show on television.

  4. Because last night’s episode was awesome and I don’t know anything about kidneys…

    • drfrenchfry

      Pax: I totally agree. Locke is dead. I think Locke is dead like Christian is dead. And you are totally right about Smokey/”the island”/ whatever the hell that is– it clearly was able to make Alex appear human again so why can’t it being doing the same thing with Locke and Christian. And where the hell is Claire? Also, I think the new survivors are off-island others.

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